Conservative Donnybrook

I think I speak for all of the regular contributors when I say that Conservative Donnybrook is embarrassed to admit that it missed a pretty major story. Apparently, there was some sort of ill-conceived effort to increase the tax on beer in Oregon by 1900%. This should have been filed under OUTRAGE ALERT and all of us missed this story. I did not learn of it until my father came to visit me this previous weekend and he asked me about. You can imagine his astonishment as I admitted that I knew nothing about it. Even worse, it appears that the ultra-left-wing-activist site, Huffington Post, cadged to the tragedy while we sailed blithely onward. We apologize to our readers and pledge to spend more attention on beer and alcohol-related stories in the future.

I say we let them list the little pikas as an endangered species as long as they will agree that their numbers are a direct reflection of the threat of global warming. If their numbers go up, we needn’t worry about global warming because it will be proof that the claims are bogus. If their numbers go down, then that will be taken as proof of the truth of global warming. Meanwhile, we engage in a strenuous breeding program intended to support the population of the “threatened” species.

If I know anything about rodents, they are notoriously easy to breed. I remember we had two gerbils when I was a wee lad. Both of them were “females.” The next thing we knew, we were being run out of house and home by a profusion of gerbils. I remember my mother drving down some country road with a boxful of gerbils and stopping every quarter mile or so and lobbing out handfuls of gerbils into the ditch. I often wonder if Streamwood, Illinois (which was pretty much a wilderness in those days) is overrun with wild gerbils today.

We should pick any two pikas, place them in an aquarium with plenty of cardboard to chew on, and by the end of the month, we are likely to have 40 or fifty to release into the wild. If 100 or 200 people did this, we could put these sorts of tactics to force “global warming” scare tactics to rest for a time. They started it; but this is easily a fight we can win. I say we make them look stupid.